The Pontow Family Blog

The Pontow Family Blog

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

20 years how can it be....

It is hard for me to put into words how I am feeling these days. I have very mixed emotions. I am so blessed this year to have had new friendships born and an AMAZING support system around me who have cheered me on as I have ventured down a path I never thought I would be going down 20 years ago.

As I sit here thinking about where I was 20 years ago today it is all very clear. I was sitting at Lutheran General Hospital with my sister, Meggan and her friends. Hoping and praying and praying and hoping that my sister would not die. Asking myself why why WHY?? I do not sit here dwelling on what I could have done or what could have been. But, I reminisce on what we had as sisters. It is not something that can ever be replaced. My heart aches for a chance to talk to her and just hug her. I cherished my time with her even if sometimes we were fighting over clothes or the phone.

I cherish watching my daughters together with each other when they are playing or even fighting.
I cherish listening to Ally talk about her Aunt she has never personally known, but acts as if she just played with her yesterday.
I cherish the excitement my son, Jack, shows when we see our caterpillars turn into butterflies...
I cherish my talks with my Meggan about her aunt who she is named after.
I cherish hearing my kids saying they wished they had known their Aunt Meggan.
I cherish having my Meggan tell me that she would like her own picture of her aunt in a frame for by her bed.
I cherish listening to my sister's friends continue to keep the girls memories alive!
I cherish my friends who have encouraged me to speak from my heart and who have supported me and been my own personal cheerleaders as I embark on a mission to change at least 1 person's life every day.
I cherish every person that tells me that my speeches or stories have touched their lives.

And yet with all of this positive energy around me I can't help but still be sad over each of these things. It is sad that 2 people could affect so many people's lives for so many years. And that is why I know the mission I am on with speaking to DUI offenders and to schools is what I need to be doing. I know you can't save everyone but touching one life is well worth it.

Below is a link to the video of my 1st High School speech I gave to a group of 200 students and their parents in September at Kimberly High School in Kimberly, WI.

I don't want to get to the end of my life and find that I just lived the length of it. I want to have lived the width of it as well. - by Diane Ackerman

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